What's In A Name?
by Rosetta Starfire Stone
Summary: After the battle when the Flame Champion loses his rune, Caesar begins to wonder about the future of the war, and himself. Does the Silverberg name automatically mean loneliness as well?


Title: What's in a Name?

Author: Rosetta Stone

Date: October 24, 2006

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Suikoden III. They are the property of Konami.

Summary: After another battle against Luc and his group, Caesar begins to doubt his own abilities as a strategist and as a Silverberg. He begins to wonder what it really takes to be a Silverberg.

The Flame Champion and his warriors slowly made their way up the grassy path that led back to their headquarters, back to Budehuc Castle, worn out from the day's battle. They were taken by surprise by the sudden attack at Brass Castle that led to the lost of the True Fire rune. Tired, angry, and worried were the common emotion amongst the group. Amongst the group of wearily warriors was the young red haired strategist, Caesar Silverberg. The red headed youth was taking the defeat harder than anyone else in the group seeing as it was his idea that had failed, and his fault that they lost their only hope of ever winning this war. With a defeated sigh he slowly walked up the three steps that brought him officially onto Budehuc territory.

Hugo, the Flame Champion, stopped and turned around to face everyone behind them. The young man looked tired and old, the affects of the lost of his True Fire Rune beginning to take place against his youthful body. His eyes held pains beyond belief, from the distant past of the previous Flame Champion and his own pains of the past, but it was obvious he was pushing against them, in hopes to be stronger. With a small smile he nodded to his team and told them in a low quiet voice to get some rest. His team nodded wearily back and slowly made their way to the castle and the small houses nearby. Hugo smiled lightly at this and was about to follow when he noticed not everyone was heading towards the castle.

Caesar had distanced himself away from the group and stood off to the side. His lazy green eyes stared down at his feet and his statue showed of a weak and defeated man. Hugo made his way over to his strategist and placed a hand on the youths shoulder. Caesar jumped at the connection, but when he realized who it was he bowed his head respectfully.

"Flame Champion." Caesar muttered softly.

"What's the matter Silverberg? You're not normally this dejected after a battle. If it's about the True Fire Rune, don't worry about it, we will get it back." Hugo commented to his friend. Caesar looked at him with a plain look. Looking down at his feet again he sighed. Hugo thought for a moment that the youth was going to tell him what was on his mind, but when Caesar looked back up, his face held his usual lazy smile.

"It's nothing, Flame Champion!" Caesar reassured him with a smile. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

Hugo sighed at this, realizing this was another one of the defense mechanisms that Caesar created to keep people out. The young man may always have a smile to offer and a joke to crack, but Hugo knew that there were many pains in his own past, and terror to be fought against. Knowing that it was useless to try and pry out the problem, Hugo smiled back towards the strategist.

"With all the sleeping you do around here, one would be surprised to know you are tired." He joked back.

Caesar laughed at this, but it sounded forced in his ears, and he had a feeling Hugo found it forced as well. With a nod he stepped out of Hugo's grasp and regarded the Flame Champion with a grin of his own. Hugo smiled back and nodded his head.

"Well than, I best be going in. I should rest up myself." Hugo said with a light laugh.

"That would be wise." Caesar agreed with a nod. "It would be bad if you were unfit to fight because of sleep deprive."

"Yes, yes. Well, take care Silverberg." Hugo called as he began walking away.

"Take care Flame Champion." Caesar called back with a wave.

Caesar stood in his spot and watched as Hugo made his way up the stairs that led up to the castle. Once the Flame Champion was out of sight, he dropped his hand and the smile on his face disappeared. With a dejected sigh he turned and made his way over to the stairs that led down to the lower area of Budehuc.

There was something wrong with Caesar, and he felt bad for lying to Hugo, but it wasn't anything the young Flame Champion could help with. Caesar knew this was something he needed to work out for himself but it still was stressful. After all, it's not everyday a Silverberg is greeted with defeat. It just didn't happen to a Silverberg. True enough it was against Luc and his lackeys, and those included his older brother Albert, but a defeat was still a defeat. And this defeat was more taxing on the group then any other.

Caesar sat down at the top of the stairs and stared out into the lake. He once cursed the name he was given, believing it only to be a nuisances. People took one look at him and expected great things because he was a Silverberg, because he was the grandson of Leon, and it use to drive him insane. It was hard to become somebody, when already people had expectations of him. They never saw him for who he truly was.

Caesar sighed and rested his chin on his hands. The sun was slowly setting over the lake, illuminating it in a red orange glow. The sight reminded him of what life use to be like, back at the Silverberg Manor. It was a simple life for him. He lived a life of luxury, getting what he always wanted. But Caesar tried to pride himself on the fact he wasn't a spoiled little boy. He never had an easy life, always fighting for existence, for a place amongst the Silverberg family line. To meet the approval of his Grandfather and all his glory, even though that was a lifestyle he would rather ignore.

However, despite the fact that Caesar would rather not be apart of the bloodshed that was known with the Silverberg family, he did desire to be recognized in his own household. For most of his life, the young man was always in the shadows of his older brother. Albert was everything that represented the Silverberg name, and was the obvious favorite with their grandfather and parents. And Caesar was only second best, no matter what he did, he was always second. And if he made a mistake then he was singled out and punished far worst then would be expected of a child his age.

The only person who ever seemed to regard him as he own entity was Apple. The older woman, who has spent most of her life in the presence of some of the greatest Silverberg's, was the only one who ever treated Caesar as a person. She acted like a friend, a teacher, a sister, and a mother to the child who didn't seem to have any of that. Although, as much as he regarded Apple as all these things she still was unable to understand him in the way he truly needed. She was a friend, and he was feeling that he needed something more in his life.

There was one time, many years ago, before the talk of war ever entered his world, which his brother had told him he would be unable to find such a person. Silverberg's, he had told him, will forever live a life of loneness. They may marry and have children, but in a whole their life purpose was only to serve on the battlefield and that was all they knew to do. Those words seem to haunt the red haired youth more then anything, because a life of loneness was far worst they anything else he has had to face on this world.

And Caesar did not want to be lonely. He wanted to meet the woman of his dreams and marry her. He wanted to have many children and raise them with the love and care that seemed to be lacking in his own childhood. And his children didn't have to be strategist if they didn't want to. He would leave that to the little brats his brother was probably going to conceive. If the man ever learned to love anyone besides himself.

"Oh who am I kidding, the bastard will probably marry out of politics and have a wife as calculated and cold hearted as he is. The perfect Silverberg bride." He muttered darkly.

Above him a clash of thunder erupted suddenly. Surprised, the read head looked up and was greeted by the sight of dark, angry clouds. A moment later he had to blink quickly as a large raindrop landed on his eye. In a matter of minutes the whole sky was pouring rain over the castle grounds. Caesar sighed at the irony of the storm and shifted his gaze towards the dark lake. He allowed the rain to drench his body to the bone, but took no notice of the cold.

He remembered a time when he use to be terrified of storms. During a time when he was young enough to not know the responsibilities of being in such a high prestige family. A time when Albert and him would actually get along. He was probably around six or seven years old. And the night before his brother was to leave for Soledt Academy of Military Science for school a huge and wicked storm blew across the lands. It was one of the worst storms that the young boy had ever been witness to.

It was during this storm that the two brothers made a pact to stay close to each other, even during times of war. However, Caesar learned very quickly that pacts were easy to destroy and promises meant nothing to men who wanted power. It was the young boy's first lesson of the real world, and he wasn't happy.

"I guess there is no hope for people like me." Caesar declared as he leaned on his hands, his gaze never faltering. "Will I ever find someone who will love me for me, and not my reputation?"

"Well that would be hard to find out if you die out here from hypothermia." A voice replied from behind him.

"What the-!" Caesar jumped and looked over his shoulder at the figure behind him. Standing a few feet from the young man was a small young woman. She had long black hair and a pair of deep blue eyes. She wore the simple outfit of gray pants, a white top, and a white apron, signifying her work as one of the castle maids. In her hands were a large black blanket and an umbrella above her head. Smiling softly at her red head friend's face she made her way over to him.

"You do realize that outside during a storm is probably not the best place to have a find yourself type of meditation, right?" She asked in a light tone as she shifted the umbrella so it covered him as well as her.

"Yes well there always has to be a dramatic backdrop for brooding you know." Caesar lightly joked back and found himself smiling lightly. "So, seeing as we know why I am out here, what brings you outside during a storm Rosetta?"

Rosetta shrugged her shoulders and passed the blanket over to the other. Caesar gratefully wrapped the blanket around his soaked frame and scooted over as the young woman took a seat next to him.

"You never came inside when the others returned. I wanted to make sure you were alright." She explained her gaze towards the lake.

"You were worried?"

"Not just me, Apple was worried as well. However, seeing as you decided to take an unannounced break, she was left with planning the next plan of attack against the Destroyers."

"What's the point? Without the True Runes we are basically sitting ducks."

"Don't let the Sergeant hear you say that." Rosetta joked, "He might ruffle up some feathers or something."

Caesar cracked a grin at this. All too soon his expression turned somber again and Rosetta could only follow suit. Reaching over, she placed her hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look over at her.

"Listen here; there are a lot of people in the castle who are looking to you for guidance. They are lost without you. You are the only hope any of us have for surviving this disaster."

"Easy for you to say, you try being a Silverberg once." Caesar muttered darkly.

Rosetta dropped her hand and shifted her gaze away from his piercing green eyes. Looking down at her hand she took in a deep breath and sighed.

"Do you really think you are destined to be alone?" She asked quietly.

"How did you hear about that?" He countered sharply.

"You think out loud. But in all seriousness, do you?" She asked again.

"I am a Silverberg, the grandson of the great Leon Silverberg. My whole life is meant to be a strategist in time of need. And because of that, my wife shall be someone that my parents pick out for me, because of her status with the rest of society. I am required to marry her and have her bore my children so they too can carry out my name." He explained in a dead voice.

"Do you really believe that?" Rosetta wondered quietly. "Or is it what you want?"

"Why would I want something like that? To marry because of politics, ha! I always thought marriage was about love." He shrugged his shoulders lightly. "Why am I forced to follow in my families plans when they just continue to shun me? Leave the political life for Albert, he lives for it."

"DO you hate your brother?"

"Hate? He is my brother, I can't simply hate him." Caesar admitted quietly. "Albert was always the favorite, the better of the two grandchildren in Grandfather's eyes. But he was the only thing I had in my early years." He paused and looked over at her. "Do you know how hard it is to look across the battlefield and see his face? I am fighting my older brother because of some man's desire to be normal for once. Ha! I have never had a normal life, and yet this guy seems to be closer to his goal than I will ever be."

"To be normal? To marry someone you love and have children that never have to see the horrors of this world. Isn't that what everyone here wants?" Rosetta asked quietly. "We all fight for the same goal it seems but for some it's harder than for others, no?"

"What do you mean?"

"Geddoe fights to end a war that he started seemingly years ago. Lady Chris fights to honor her father who died protecting this world, even if she never knew who he was until the last minute. And our Flame Champion fights to bring hope back into his villagers eyes. And you…"

"Me?"

"You fight because that is what you think you are supposed to do, as a Silverberg. However, I think you fight for more than just that. I think you fight to prove to yourself and your family that you are just as capable as Albert. That you deserve the same love and attention that he seemed to have gotten when you were younger. You fight to be noticed and be normal." Rosetta lightly laughs at this. "But who really is normal in this world?"

Caesar didn't laugh with her. He looked out towards the lake again as he thought about what she said. The two had met during one of the first few days he and Apple became permanent residents to the castle. Her cheerful personality and intellectual thoughts drew him to her and they were able to form a friendship out of it. It was a small comfort for him to have someone who wasn't bound by fate or stars to a war to talk to. She was able to see things from the other perspective and point out it to him when he found himself lost. Times like this were a reminder of that.

"Caesar?" Her voice broke his thoughts and he looked over at her. She had a worried look on her face and he felt something tug on the inside.

"Sorry, was thinking over what you said." He replied quietly. "You have a point though, it does seem like everyone has personal goals as well as universal ones."

"It makes you wonder whose side is actually the wrong side." She muttered quietly and looked towards the rain filled sky.

"What do you desire?" Caesar asked her suddenly.

"What?" She asked confused, looking back at the red head.

"You don't fight but your presence here means you have a goal, a wish, which you want to accomplish. What drew you to the castle and the cause?"

"I don't know. A lot of things I guess." She began as she tilted her head slightly to think about it. "I help because I to want peace in this world, I want this world to still be around! I want to find that feeling of unity with people. This place just had the vibe that drew me close." She looked away shyly suddenly. "Also I want to see if there was someone here who did have the same mind set with me that I could spend my whole life with…"

Caesar grinned at the last one but decided to be sympathetic and not bring it up with her. He bumped shoulders with her and laughed.

"Seems like you got a lot of goals." He commented lightly and she smiled back.

"I guess so."

The two fell into a peaceful silence as they watched the rain fall onto the lake. Caesar felt himself to be calmer than he was when they arrived back at Budehuc and he had a feeling it had to do with the girl next to him. It had been a long time since he was able to speak so openly his thoughts. The last time was with Albert all those years ago…

"Hey," He spoke up suddenly. "Do you think Albert has these types of thoughts running through his head?"

"If he does it's not during a rain storm or outside." Rosetta was quick to reply.

Caesar laughed at this and shook his head. With a small nod to her he rose to his feet and moved out from under the umbrella. Rosetta stood up as well and the two looked towards the castle.

"Hey." He spoke again. Once she turned to him he places a small kiss on her cheek. "Thanks for listening."

Caesar than turned around and began making his way towards the castle. A small smirk was on his face as he was quite aware of the blush that appeared on Rosetta's face after his move but he wills himself not to turn around. Looking up at the sky, he felt like there was hope after all for him.

"Maybe I won't end up lonely after all." He said quietly and smiled gently.


End file.
